I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
sex in a hospital.. check
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
