Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize