Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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