my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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