i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
no. you can't hotbox the world.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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