i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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