quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
