Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
