she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
