They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
