I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize