: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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