Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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