by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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