Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
