I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
