"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And then he peed in my hair
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