you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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