can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
