The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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