I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
