can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
