You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize