Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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