me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
