Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
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It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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