Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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