I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Panties = found
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
