so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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