Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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