all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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