I am puke
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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