wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
