i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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