My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
