Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
