fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Randomize
