I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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