I CAN MOONWALK!
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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