lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize