Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
