Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
