It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
