There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
