I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
