At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
