I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
