I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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