if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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