we have pet lesbian snakes
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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