At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Randomize
