I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
