had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
