My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Can you bring me the toilet please
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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