I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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