you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
