I am spending my child support on dildos
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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