I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize