Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
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I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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