Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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