Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
