my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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