Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
