If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
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dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
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I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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