Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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