doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
