ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
