I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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