then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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