once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
NoShamevember. You game?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
