Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
