We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
