He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
