I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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