they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You need Xanax blowdarts
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
